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The Manu Biosphere Reserve, Peruvian Amazon

Sara Foster avoids being peed on by spider monkeys and learns the art of the Wet Wipe Wash in the Amazon. And yes, she can’t wait to go back.

If you take a trip to Manu, be prepared to get dirty. Unfortunately, I mean that in the unclean sense of the word, because I can guarantee you that nothing especially sexy is going to happen unless you take a steamy novel with you. Even with the hottest hunk by your side, when you’ve read this you will understand why there’s little likelihood of you wanting to get up to anything raunchy until you’ve left the jungle behind.

The Manu reserve is one of those places on earth that has to be seen to be believed – a portion of the Peruvian Amazon basin that the developers have yet to conquer, though they are trying hard. Trips in are run by specialised tour companies, and one way to get there is to take a breathtaking journey over the Andes from Cusco by small plane. Be assured that it’s standard, if somewhat confronting, practice to find yourself publicly weighed along with your luggage before your flights – it’s not that the airport staff think you’ve eaten one too many guinea pigs lately. The journey itself is pretty exciting and the scenery stunning. After experiencing the rush of going from cool, high and dry altitude to hot, humid jungle during the descent, you’ll find your landing strip is a patch of open grass in the middle of the jungle. Once landed you’ll take a boat trip down the Madre de Dios river to your accommodation, if you’re lucky passing caimans (crocodilians) sunning themselves on the banks, capybaras (giant rodents to you and I) wading along the shoreline, and multitudes of birdlife including the stunning macaws surveying you from the trees. This is the best way to get to the heart of the reserve, but there are also coach tours which, although lengthy, take you through the Cloud Forest, home of the Cock-of-the-Rock – though don’t be disappointed if all that pops up is a red bird with a strange mohican.

The only reason you would head to Manu is to experience the Amazonian jungle at its finest. On my trip I stayed at the charming Manu Lodge, the only lodge inside the reserve itself, owned by Manu Nature Tours, and had a fantastic young female tour guide called Eliana who looked after us for the entire stay. To find such a comfortable lodge after hours of journeying through pristine jungle scenery is fantastic  – as well as basic but comfortable rooms there’s a bar, comfy lounging areas and a dining room; with the staff also serving up delicious fresh three-course meals each night. With small groups only catered for, you also find yourself learning a great deal about the ‘real Peru’ from the locals’ perspective.

The delights of the trip were trekking through the Amazonian jungle with Eliana spotting wildlife as we went, anything from tiny lizards to various species of agile and quick-limbed monkeys, including the spider monkeys who seemed to want to pee on us or throw faeces at us, from which I got the hint that they weren’t too impressed by our presence. At the end of a trek we would come back to sedate sunset cruises by ‘catamaran’ (warning: the term catamaran here refers to twin hulls rather than the luxurious vessel you might imagine) along the nearby lake and watch red howler monkeys sitting or swinging among the trees in groups, making the same plaintive noise that woke us up every morning. There’s the possibility of seeing giant otters, tapirs and even jaguars while you’re there, though they’re notoriously aloof, and I was absolutely fine with that while on the narrow trekking paths.

Hygiene is your biggest challenge. Showers are possible in Manu, but are undertaken with a variety of wildlife, and neither showers nor going to the toilets outside are recommended after dark because of snakes. Therefore, a bucket is delivered to your room each night as your temporary toilet de la noche, which you then have to take and empty in the morning – a little bit ewww, and it means you should be prepared to become proficient at timing drink intake to avoid this as much as possible. For showers I recommend the ‘Wet Wipe Wash’ – with a bowl of water if possible, but if not then with just as many Wet Wipes as you need and lots of moisturiser afterwards. It doesn’t feel great but it’s better than nothing, and believe me, you will have spent the day getting pretty mucky because in Manu it’s all trekking, humidity, and mosquitos. While trekking in humidity will easily break you out in a copious sweat, the unique breed of mosquitos that can penetrate through the thickest of clothes means not only long sleeves and trousers but regular reapplications of the strongest repellent you can find (I even smeared it on the inside and outside of my clothes before putting them on after realising what I was up against). It’s also wise to wear a hat – and not just because of the sun, but because your guide only tells you once you’re on the tour about the snakes that dangle from the trees, and the little hair-munching beetles that are looking out for heads to fall onto (being particularly partial to long, dark hair . . . just like mine). Apparently they will happily carve you a bald patch muy rapido.

So, I’ve given you the essentials – except for a pair of binoculars and a camera, of course. And if you’re still game after reading this then I can assure you it will be an experience you’ll remember for life. Personally, I can’t wait to stock up on Wet Wipes and get back there.

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